Same goes for someone who’s not over their divorce and has beliefs that affect their ability to be committed.I personally know people who have gotten together while one party was separated, and in one case the wife refused to sign so they had to wait for it to lapse and got married as soon as it did a few years later, and in the other instances where it worked out, there was no faffing about with the divorce, Future Faking etc.Use the getting-to-know-you phase as an opportunity to ease her mind and create a comfortable environment for her to share herself. For her, it’s kids first, man second: When this lady married for the first time, her priority was her husband.After the children came and the husband left, her allegiance is to her children.This is Red Flag #2: He Talks About His Ex Listening to your date talk about his ex is not only annoying, it’s an ironclad sign he isn’t over his marriage yet.It doesn’t matter if his comments are critical, complimentary, or just factual. A man who talks about his ex may only be grieving his marriage, but it’s also possible he’s grieving the ex herself (which means there’s no room for YOU).
Do you feel sorry for him and want to “fix” his life? He tells you to wear his favorite color or certain types of clothing when going out on a date (or he buys you clothes to wear.) He tells you how and when to do everything.We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.The divorce process most likely took a toll on her self esteem, her pocketbook and her appearance.If she is on the market, she has triumphed over heartache and headache to be available to meet new people.I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.